The frequent use of “we” helps us build good relationships, according to a new study. CFP
We all know that friends are special people who we share our lives with, and who share their lives with us in return. But seeking friends and keeping the friendship going are never easy.
我们都认为，朋友是彼此之间分享生活的特别之人。但交朋友并维持友谊从来都不是易事。
According to research recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the key is to use “we-talk”.
《社会与人际关系期刊》近期发布的研究认为，（维系友谊的）关键在于“we-talk”（在交流中使用“我们”一词）。
Led by University of California psychologist Megan Robbins and her colleagues, the researchers reviewed and analyzed 30 different studies involving over 5,000 participants. This largest–ever analysis of “we-talk” suggested that the frequent use of “we” and “us” is linked to happier and healthier relationships.
加州大学心理学家梅根·罗宾斯及其同事带领研究人员，评估并分析了由5000多人参与的30项不同的研究。这也是目前为止关于“we-talk” 最大规模的分析研究。研究表明，频繁使用“we”或者“us”等词与更开心、更健康的人际关系密切相关。
The word “we” moves people from an individual position into a partnership, which makes us more interdependent. “The pronouns offer an insight into whether people see themselves as individuals or as part of a whole … Word use is a window into what people are thinking and feeling without asking them,” Robbins told Science Daily.
“我们”一词让人们从独立个体的处境进入伙伴关系之中，变得更加依赖彼此。“这个代词能够体现出人们将自己视为独立个体，还是团体的一份子……通过用词，我们不必询问他人也能知道他们的想法和感受，”罗宾森在接受《每日科学》网站采访时如此表示。
Their research also found that “we-talk” is helpful for resolving conflicts. “The primary point is that interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner – especially important in times of stress and conflict,” according to a statement released by Robbins’ lab.
他们的研究还发现，“we-talk”有助于解决冲突。“其根本在于，相互依赖或许能带来以人际关系为中心的支持行为以及对同伴的正面认知 —— 在面对压力和冲突的情况下，这些尤为重要，”罗宾斯所在的实验室在发布的一份声明中如此表示。
US-based magazine Psychology Today used the word “union” to describe the impact on a partner upon hearing “we-talk”.
美国杂志《今日心理学》用“联盟”一词来形容同伴在交流中听到“we-talk”时所产生的影响。
Contrary to “we-talk”, there is “I-talk”, which refers to the frequent use of first-person singular pronouns, such as “I”, “me”, and “mine”, when writing or speaking.
与“we-talk”相对应的是“I-talk”，指在写作或者言语中频繁使用第一人称单数代词，如‘I’、“me”、“mine”等等。
Earlier this year, researchers from the University of Arizona, US, analyzed a set of data that came from 4,700 people in Germany and the US. They found that too much “I-talk” was an accurate linguistic marker for the likelihood that someone is feeling stressed or experiencing negative emotions.
今年早些时候，美国亚利桑那大学的研究人员分析了一组来源于德国和美国共4700人的数据。他们发现，过度的“I-talk”是一个准确的语言标记，能体现出人们感到压力或正在经历负面情绪的可能性。
“If you are speaking in a personal context – so you’re speaking about something that’s of relevance to you,” lead researcher Allison Tackman told The Independent. “But if you’re communicating in a context that’s more impersonal, such as describing a picture, we did not see the relationship emerge.”
“如果你使用个人语境交流 —— 你会说些与自己有关的事情，”首席研究员艾利森·塔克曼在接受《独立报》采访时表示。“但如果你在更为客观的语境下交流，比如，描述一幅画，这并不会产生人际关系。”
As you can see from the two studies, too much “I-talk” can make you feel depressed. But “we-talk” can encourage you to become more positive and create a ripple effect of healthy interdependence with others.
正如你从这两项研究中所见，过多的“I-talk”会让你感到沮丧。但“we-talk”能鼓励你变得更积极，并产生与他人建立起健康相互依存关系的连锁反应。
So next time you’re talking to a friend, try using more “we-talk”. You may find yourself feeling more positive – and the effect it will have on your friend will be positive as well.
所以，下次在与朋友交谈时，试着多用些“we-talk”。你或许会觉得自己更加积极了 —— 而你的朋友也会感到积极。
