I Want a wife
By Judy Syfers from Ms. Magazine, Spring 1971
I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am a Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and if need be, support those dependent upon me, I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children's doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife who will wash the children's clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of cause, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife's income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints
I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I have the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife's duties.
My God, who wouldn't want a wife?
我想要个妻
（美）朱迪•塞福
我已为人妻，又作了人母，应该称作妇人了。
前不久有一位男友造访，他刚离异，一个孩子自然跟了前妻。目前他正在寻找新妻。有天晚上烫衣服时，想着这位仁兄的近况，我突发奇想，也想找个妻子。为什么要找妻子呢？我为什么希望有个老婆呢？
我想重返校园，学成后经济独立，养家糊口，自食其力。我想要个妻。她工作，我镀金。我需要妻子照顾孩子，与医生、牙医预约，给孩子和我看病的事得她操心。我想要个妻，保证我的孩子吃得好穿得净。我想要个妻，替孩子洗衣缝补，扮演好保育员的角色，安排好孩子的学业、交友、游戏诸多事情。我想要个妻，孩子生病时有人料理，孩子有特殊需要时有人应急。因为我不能误课，她也许会因此而耽误了工作，减少了薪金，可那没多大要紧，她得边工作边照看家庭。
我想要个妻，照顾我的实际所需。把屋子打扫干净，把孩子拾掇整齐，还要跟在我后面收拾整理。我想要个妻，帮我洗衣、烫衣、添置新衣，屋子收拾得井井有条，东西摆放有序，否则我随时想要东西哪里去寻。我想要个妻给我下厨，她必须是个好厨师，买、汰、烧，尽心尽意。膳毕，她洗碗我学习。我想要个妻，生病时她是我的慰籍，旅行时她伴我同行，及时满足我和孩子的不时之需。
我想要个妻，她不得对我唠唠叨叨，抱怨不已。而我学习上遇到困难时向她述说，她可得听，我写的论文还待她来誊清。
我想要个妻，交友少不了她给我做后勤。受朋友之邀时，妻得安排好孩子的照看问题；遇到学校的人想要款待时，我希望有这样一个老婆，她会把房子收拾得干干净净，会烧出一桌特别的美味佳肴，款待我和我的朋友们，当我们谈到彼此感兴趣的事情时她不会打断我们的雅兴。我希望有这样一个老婆，在我的客人们到来之前，为了不让孩子们打搅我们，她已经妥为安排，让孩子们吃过饭准备睡觉了。我希望有这样一个老婆，她能照料好客人的一应需求，使他们有一种宾至如归的感觉，她要确保他们有烟缸可用，能为他们送上餐前小吃，为他们添饭加菜，必要时还要替他们把酒杯加斟满，还要按照客人的口味给他们冲咖啡。而且我希望有一个能理解我有时需要独自外宿不归的老婆。
我希望有一个对我的性要求反应敏感的老婆，一个当我有性要求时能充满激情如饥似渴地与我做爱的老婆，一个能确实能让我得到满足的老婆。当然，我也希望有一个在我没有兴致时不主动提出性要求的老婆。我希望有一个能负起计划生育全部责任的老婆，因为我不想要更多的孩子了。我希望有一个对我性专一的老婆，这样我就不会因为争风吃醋而影响学业了。我还希望有这样一个老婆，她对我在性需求方面可能不会老老实实地严格遵守一夫一妻制能够表示理解。毕竟，我必须能够与尽可能多的人保持关系。
如果我偶然碰上一个比我现在的老婆更合适做老婆的人，我希望有休掉现在的老婆、重新另娶一个的自由。自然，我向往过一种新鲜的生活；我的老婆将抚养孩子，对他们全权负责。这样，我就可以无牵无挂。
当我完成学业找到一份工作后，我希望我的老婆辞掉工作留在家里，以便能够更全身心地尽做老婆的本分。
我的天啦，谁不希望有一个老婆呢？（何朝阳，中国科学技术大学外语系）文/Judy Syfers 译/何朝阳
相关单词：schooling
schooling解释：n.教育；正规学校教育
schooling例句：
A child's access to schooling varies greatly from area to area.孩子获得学校教育的机会因地区不同而大相径庭。
Backward children need a special kind of schooling.天赋差的孩子需要特殊的教育。
相关单词：rambling
rambling解释：adj.[建]凌乱的，杂乱的
rambling例句：
We spent the summer rambling in Ireland. 我们花了一个夏天漫游爱尔兰。
It was easy to get lost in the rambling house. 在布局凌乱的大房子里容易迷路。
相关单词：ashtray
ashtray解释：n.烟灰缸
ashtray例句：
He knocked out his pipe in the big glass ashtray.他在大玻璃烟灰缸里磕净烟斗。
She threw the cigarette butt into the ashtray.她把烟头扔进烟灰缸。
相关单词：helping
helping解释：n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的
helping例句：
The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
相关单词：replenished
replenished解释：补充( replenish的过去式和过去分词 )； 重新装满
replenished例句：
She replenished her wardrobe. 她添置了衣服。
She has replenished a leather [fur] coat recently. 她最近添置了一件皮袄。
相关单词：passionately
passionately解释：ad.热烈地，激烈地
passionately例句：
She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿，也能爱得一往情深。
He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
相关单词：clutter
clutter解释：n.零乱，杂乱；vt.弄乱，把…弄得杂乱
clutter例句：
The garage is in such a clutter that we can't find anything.车库如此凌乱，我们什么也找不到。
We'll have to clear up all this clutter.我们得把这一切凌乱的东西整理清楚。
相关单词：jealousies
jealousies解释：n.妒忌( jealousy的名词复数 )；妒羡
jealousies例句：
They were divided by mutual suspicion and jealousies. 他们因为相互猜疑嫉妒而不和。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
I am tired of all these jealousies and quarrels. 我厌恶这些妒忌和吵架的语言。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：entail
entail解释：vt.使承担，使成为必要，需要
entail例句：
Such a decision would entail a huge political risk.这样的决定势必带来巨大的政治风险。
This job would entail your learning how to use a computer.这工作将需要你学会怎样用计算机。
相关单词：adherence
adherence解释：n.信奉，依附，坚持，固着
adherence例句：
He was well known for his adherence to the rules.他因遵循这些规定而出名。
The teacher demanded adherence to the rules.老师要求学生们遵守纪律。
相关单词：fully
fully解释：adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
fully例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
相关单词：solely
solely解释：adv.仅仅，唯一地
solely例句：
Success should not be measured solely by educational achievement.成功与否不应只用学业成绩来衡量。
The town depends almost solely on the tourist trade.这座城市几乎完全靠旅游业维持。
