The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with a Business associate, spouse, parent, client or, friend, is trust. Trust is not something that can be built with quick fix techniques. Rather, it is something that is cultivated through consistent habits in your interactions. The following are twelve patterns of behavior that increase trust in your relationships.
1. Be transparent
Do not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any hidden agendas. You might think you can pull a fast one on someone else. You can’t. Most people have good intuition and even though they may not be able to consciously determine that you are hiding something, they very likely will have an uneasy feeling around you. If they don`t feel comfortable around you, they won't be able to trust you.
Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it erodes your ability to trust others. You will assume that if you aren’t fully forthcoming, other people aren’t either. When you are trustworthy, however, you will see others as more trustworthy too.
2. Be sincere
This is similar to the previous point. Only say what you mean. Be impeccably honest with your words. Refuse to try and craft your words to manipulate others. Don`t give fake compliments, patronize others or say something just because you think you are supposed to. Again, people have good BS detectors. When others know that you only speak genuinely, it increases their capacity to trust you. Everyone loves authenticity.
3. Focus on adding value
In any relationship, always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than you get. When you consistently add value to someone`s life, they not only feel like you are on their side, they also have the urge to reciprocate. In Business relationships, this means always under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of taking in order to get your own needs met.
4. Be present
The last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with someone who isn’t there. Instead of retreating into your head, focus on listening to others. Whenever you are with someone, make them your primary focus. Don’t think
5. Always treat people with respect
Ever since we were little kids, we have been taught to be respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there is no one around to see (read: we don`t think there will be any consequences), we can often engage in petty behavior. This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someone’s back.
Always remember that another person’s inherent worth as a human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When people know that you will always treat with them respect, it is very natural for trust to flourish.
6. Take responsibility
When you mess up, which you invariably will, be quick to clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility. Justifying and making excuses may help you in the short term but in the long run, it does nothing for your character or the level of trust you are given. Accountability is a rare trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and you will win the trust of others.
7. Focus on feedback
Unless you`re a mind reader, the only way you can know how well a relationship is going is by getting feedback from the other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback – actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give you feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and others will be far more willing. Take both the positive and negative into account along with your own judgment and adjust your behaviour accordingly.
8. Take criticism well
Learn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting defensive, consider the possibility that what the other person is saying might be true. Closing yourself off from criticism has the effect of closing off all communication.
In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy. Try to understand the problem from the other person’s point of view. Perhaps the criticism is just a thinly veiled attack that stems from a deeper upset they may have with you. In these cases, your willingness to dig deeper without getting defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the relationship.
9. Set boundaries
Be clear
10. Be a class act
Hold yourself to a higher a standard. Be quick to apologize when you know you are wrong. Only speak well of others, even those who don`t speak well of you.
Why should you do this? First, imagine what it would do to your sense of self to know that other people only have good experiences with you. Second, imagine how much trust such behaviour engenders in others. Finally, imagine the example you set for others – the conduct of others will improve just by being around you consistently.
11. Your word is your bond
Keep all the promises you make and ensure that you make promises only sparingly. Make your word stronger than any written contract. Refuse to make empty promises and manipulate people.
When a promise you have made is no longer beneficial to you, instead of deciding to not follow through, attempt to renegotiate the deal. When you renegotiate the agreement, ensure that the new commitment provides even more value to the other person.
12. Be consistent
Above all, be consistent in your behavior. Don’t engage in the behavior once in a while when it seems convenient. Your consistency is the key to your trustworthiness. Small actions add up and a track record of high character is invaluable in any relationship. Become intensely principle-centered and trust will follow easily and consistently.
相关单词：spouse
spouse解释：n.配偶(指夫或妻)
spouse例句：
Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？
相关单词：transparent
transparent解释：adj.明显的，无疑的；透明的
transparent例句：
The water is so transparent that we can see the fishes swimming.水清澈透明，可以看到鱼儿游来游去。
The window glass is transparent.窗玻璃是透明的。
相关单词：sinister
sinister解释：adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的
sinister例句：
There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值，而且包藏祸心。
相关单词：erodes
erodes解释：侵蚀，腐蚀( erode的第三人称单数 )； 逐渐毁坏，削弱，损害
erodes例句：
The sea erodes the rock. 海水侵蚀岩石。
The sea erodes the land. 海洋侵蚀陆地。
相关单词：fully
fully解释：adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地
fully例句：
The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气，然后全部呼出。
They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
相关单词：detectors
detectors解释：探测器( detector的名词复数 )
detectors例句：
The report advocated that all buildings be fitted with smoke detectors. 报告主张所有的建筑物都应安装烟火探测器。
This is heady wine for experimenters using these neutrino detectors. 对于使用中微子探测器的实验工作者，这是令人兴奋的美酒。 来自英汉非文学 - 科技
相关单词：authenticity
authenticity解释：n.真实性
authenticity例句：
There has been some debate over the authenticity of his will. 对于他的遗嘱的真实性一直有争论。
The museum is seeking an expert opinion on the authenticity of the painting. 博物馆在请专家鉴定那幅画的真伪。
相关单词：reciprocate
reciprocate解释：v.往复运动；互换；回报，酬答
reciprocate例句：
Although she did not reciprocate his feelings, she did not discourage him.尽管她没有回应他的感情，她也没有使他丧失信心。
Some day I will reciprocate your kindness to me.总有一天我会报答你对我的恩德。
相关单词：encompasses
encompasses解释：v.围绕( encompass的第三人称单数 )；包围；包含；包括
encompasses例句：
The job encompasses a wide range of responsibilities. 这项工作涉及的职责范围很广。
Its conservation law encompasses both its magnitude and its direction. 它的守恒定律包括大小和方向两方面。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：justifying
justifying解释：证明…有理( justify的现在分词 )； 为…辩护； 对…作出解释； 为…辩解（或辩护）
justifying例句：
He admitted it without justifying it. 他不加辩解地承认这个想法。
The fellow-travellers'service usually consisted of justifying all the tergiversations of Soviet intenal and foreign policy. 同路人的服务通常包括对苏联国内外政策中一切互相矛盾之处进行辩护。
相关单词：actively
actively解释：adv.积极地，勤奋地
actively例句：
During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。
相关单词：sincerity
sincerity解释：n.真诚，诚意；真实
sincerity例句：
His sincerity added much more authority to the story.他的真诚更增加了故事的说服力。
He tried hard to satisfy me of his sincerity.他竭力让我了解他的诚意。
相关单词：judgment
judgment解释：n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见
judgment例句：
The chairman flatters himself on his judgment of people.主席自认为他审视人比别人高明。
He's a man of excellent judgment.他眼力过人。
相关单词：defensive
defensive解释：adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的
defensive例句：
Their questions
The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。
相关单词：inaccurate
inaccurate解释：adj.错误的，不正确的，不准确的
inaccurate例句：
The book is both inaccurate and exaggerated.这本书不但不准确，而且夸大其词。
She never knows the right time because her watch is inaccurate.她从来不知道准确的时间因为她的表不准。
相关单词：alleviates
alleviates解释：减轻，缓解，缓和( alleviate的名词复数 )
alleviates例句：
Heat often alleviates pain. 热常常能减缓疼痛。
A cold compress often alleviates pain. 冷敷常会减轻疼痛。
相关单词：engenders
engenders解释：v.产生（某形势或状况），造成，引起( engender的第三人称单数 )
engenders例句：
Sympathy often engenders love. 同情常常产生爱情。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
Some people believe poverty engenders crime. 有人认为贫困生罪恶。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：consistency
consistency解释：n.一贯性，前后一致，稳定性；(液体的)浓度
consistency例句：
Your behaviour lacks consistency.你的行为缺乏一贯性。
We appreciate the consistency and stability in China and in Chinese politics.我们赞赏中国及其政策的连续性和稳定性。
相关单词：invaluable
invaluable解释：adj.无价的，非常宝贵的，极为贵重的
invaluable例句：
A computer would have been invaluable for this job.一台计算机对这个工作的作用会是无法估计的。
This information was invaluable to him.这个消息对他来说是非常宝贵的。
