The Long Goodbye

   2016-09-23 沪江网0
核心提示:"They grow up too soon," everyone told me. Eighteen years later, I finally understand what they meant.It's nearly the end of summer break and my son goes out with friends. Ten minutes after he leaves home, I receive his text: Here. It'

"They grow up too soon," everyone told me. Eighteen years later, I finally understand what they meant.

It's nearly the end of summer break and my son goes out with friends. Ten minutes after he leaves home, I receive his text: Here. It's the same message I've received hundreds of times before -- our agreed-upon shorthand to reassure me, and probably him, in some still-unexamined way, that he has arrived safely at his destination. In a matter of days he'll head to college, and this routine, along with many others that have framed our days and nights, will come to an end. Reading that text triggers images stored safely away in my memory, a tiny flip book of our lives together.

My constant companion of nine months emerges with his eyes wide open. He's placed on my chest. I feel his heartbeat reverberating(回弹,反射) through mine. All I see are beginnings. Friends who visit caution that time is elusive(难懂的) , that he'll grow up faster than I can imagine, and to savor every moment. But I can't hear them; it's all too clichéd and my child has only just arrived. He's intoxicating: the beautiful bracelet-like creases in his wrists, the way he sounds like a little lamb when he cries. I'm filled with a renewed sense of purpose, of hope, of love. The first few months after he's born are topsy-turvy -- day is night, night is day. When sleep finally returns, so does work. My business suit is tight, my mind preoccupied. I pump milk in a cold, gray bathroom stall.

His teeth begin to appear. Baby bottles give way to solid foods. He points high above his chair to the clock on the wall. "Clock," he says. It's his first word, minus the "l," and it makes me laugh. Soon he is walking, skipping, making angels in the snow.

I'm promoted at work. It becomes harder to find the time to make playdates(上映期) and pediatrician(儿科医师) appointments. At lunch I read books about nurturing, teaching, inspiring your child. He calls my office with the help of his babysitter. "Momma," he says, "I'm making you a present."

The tooth fairy arrives and leaves him handwritten notes. He discovers knock-knock jokes and learns how to add, subtract, and read. He builds giant castles with giant Legos, rides his shiny bike down a country road with his feet off the pedals.

I quit my job to do freelance writing -- everything from training programs to marketing brochures(小册子) to essays - usually when the rest of the family is sleeping. There's never enough money, but now at least we have time.

Saturday nights are always family nights, spent at home. There are countless sporting events. He tries baseball, soccer, and track, then falls head over heels for basketball. He swings from tree limbs, wears superhero costumes, develops crushes, friendships, and fevers.

I volunteer at his school: cut, paste, read, nourish, fund-raise, chaperone. I like this job.

There are marathon bedtime story rituals, endless questions about how things work, and monsters under the bed. Lego pieces grow smaller and castles more intricate. He tries the guitar, plays the trombone, saves quarters to buy video games, and collects trading cards, which he keeps in a shoe box under his bed.

We get a dog. He loves this dog with all his heart. The dog loves him back.

One day his height surpasses mine and, seemingly the next, his father's.

He reads an essay by a sportswriter. It lights a fire in him. He starts to write his own stuff, wandering into my office as I try to juggle(杂耍,欺骗) freelance assignments.

I feel privileged to read his work.

Orthodontics are removed to reveal straight pearly whites. He earns his first paycheck as a baseball referee(裁判员) but wishes that it had been as a writer.

He learns to do the laundry, scrub the bathroom, and make pasta, though he often professes to forget how to do all three.

He turns 18.

On a cold and rainy Election Day we head out together to vote. After two hours waiting in line, he's the only teen in sight. It's not lost on him -- by the next morning he has written all about it.

He gets a job as a blogger, then starts his own website. And all the while there are macroeconomics(宏观经济学) , physics, and college applications.

The flip book's down to its last pages.

I've defined myself as a mother for 18 years. Who am I now? I look in the mirror. In my quest to help him grow wings, I forgot to grow some of my own. Can I find a new sense of purpose, rechannel the love?

Before I was a mother I was a daughter, infused with energy and the unspoken reassurance that my parents would always be there. But I can't be a daughter again. I'm on my own.

Does purpose -- mine, yours, anyone's -- require someone to nurture it, or is it inherent in all of us?

I'll soon be putting these competing theories to the test.

As I sit down to write this piece, I receive his text: Where are you?

Here, I text back.

For now.

相关单词:reassure

reassure解释:v.使放心,使消除疑虑

reassure例句:

This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点,于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。

The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。

相关单词:flip

flip解释:vt.快速翻动;轻抛;轻拍;n.轻抛;adj.轻浮的

flip例句:

I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书,看来似乎很有趣。

Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。

相关单词:reverberating

reverberating解释:回响,回荡( reverberate的现在分词 ); 使反响,使回荡,使反射

reverberating例句:

The words are still ringing [reverberating] in one's ears. 言犹在耳。

I heard a voice reverberating: "Crawl out! I give you liberty!" 我听到一个声音在回荡:“爬出来吧,我给你自由!”

相关单词:elusive

elusive解释:adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的

elusive例句:

Try to catch the elusive charm of the original in translation.翻译时设法把握住原文中难以捉摸的风韵。

Interpol have searched all the corners of the earth for the elusive hijackers.国际刑警组织已在世界各地搜查在逃的飞机劫持者。

相关单词:savor

savor解释:vt.品尝,欣赏;n.味道,风味;情趣,趣味

savor例句:

The soup has a savor of onion.这汤有洋葱味。

His humorous remarks added a savor to our conversation.他幽默的话语给谈话增添了风趣。

相关单词:intoxicating

intoxicating解释:a. 醉人的,使人兴奋的

intoxicating例句:

Power can be intoxicating. 权力能让人得意忘形。

On summer evenings the flowers gave forth an almost intoxicating scent. 夏日的傍晚,鲜花散发出醉人的芳香。

相关单词:creases

creases解释:(使…)起折痕,弄皱( crease的第三人称单数 ); (皮肤)皱起,使起皱纹

creases例句:

She smoothed the creases out of her skirt. 她把裙子上的皱褶弄平。

She ironed out all the creases in the shirt. 她熨平了衬衣上的所有皱褶。

相关单词:preoccupied

preoccupied解释:adj.全神贯注的,入神的;被抢先占有的;心事重重的v.占据(某人)思想,使对…全神贯注,使专心于( preoccupy的过去式)

preoccupied例句:

He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice anything wrong. 他只顾想着心事,没注意到有什么不对。

The question of going to the Mount Tai preoccupied his mind. 去游泰山的问题盘踞在他心头。 来自《简明英汉词典》

相关单词:nurturing

nurturing解释:养育( nurture的现在分词 ); 培育; 滋长; 助长

nurturing例句:

These delicate plants need careful nurturing. 这些幼嫩的植物需要精心培育。

The modern conservatory is not an environment for nurturing plants. 这个现代化温室的环境不适合培育植物。

相关单词:marketing

marketing解释:n.行销,在市场的买卖,买东西

marketing例句:

They are developing marketing network.他们正在发展销售网络。

He often goes marketing.他经常去市场做生意。

相关单词:countless

countless解释:adj.无数的,多得不计其数的

countless例句:

In the war countless innocent people lost their lives.在这场战争中无数无辜的人丧失了性命。

I've told you countless times.我已经告诉你无数遍了。

相关单词:juggle

juggle解释:v.变戏法,纂改,欺骗,同时做;n.玩杂耍,纂改,花招

juggle例句:

If you juggle with your accounts,you'll get into trouble.你要是在帐目上做手脚,你可要遇到麻烦了。

She had to juggle her job and her children.她得同时兼顾工作和孩子。

相关单词:referee

referee解释:n.裁判员.仲裁人,代表人,鉴定人

referee例句:

The team was left raging at the referee's decision.队员们对裁判员的裁决感到非常气愤。

The referee blew a whistle at the end of the game.裁判在比赛结束时吹响了哨子。

相关单词:professes

professes解释:声称( profess的第三人称单数 ); 宣称; 公开表明; 信奉

professes例句:

She still professes her innocence. 她仍然声称自己无辜。

He professes himself to be sad but doesn't look it. 他自称感到悲伤,但外表却看不出来。

相关单词:reassurance

reassurance解释:n.使放心,使消除疑虑

reassurance例句:

He drew reassurance from the enthusiastic applause.热烈的掌声使他获得了信心。

Reassurance is especially critical when it comes to military activities.消除疑虑在军事活动方面尤为关键。

相关单词:nurture

nurture解释:n.养育,照顾,教育;滋养,营养品;vt.养育,给与营养物,教养,扶持

nurture例句:

The tree grows well in his nurture.在他的培育下这棵树长得很好。

The two sisters had received very different nurture.这俩个姊妹接受过极不同的教育。

 
标签: 杂耍 裁判员
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