A reader in Florida, apparently bruised（擦伤） by some personal experience, writes in to complain, "If I steal a nickel's worth of merchandise, I am a thief and punished; but if I steal the love of another's wife, I am free."
This is a prevalent misconception（误解，错觉） in many people's minds---that love, like merchandise, can be "stolen". Numerous states, in fact, have enacted laws allowing damages for "alienation of affections".
But love is not a commodity; the real thing cannot be bought, sold, traded or stolen. It is an act of the will, a turning of the emotions, a change in the climate of the personality.
When a husband or wife is "stolen" by another person, that husband or wife was already ripe for the stealing, was already predisposed toward a new partner. The "love bandit（强盗，土匪） " was only taking what was waiting to be taken, what wanted to be taken.
We tend to treat persons like goods. We even speak of the children "belonging" to their parents. But nobody "belongs" to anyone else. Each person belongs to himself, and to God. Children are entrusted to their parents, and if their parents do not treat them properly, the state has a right to remove them from their parents' trusteeship.
Most of us, when young, had the experience of a sweetheart being taken from us by somebody more attractive and more appealing. At the time, we may have resented this intruder---but as we grew older, we recognized that the sweetheart had never been ours to begin with. It was not the intruder that "caused" the break, but the lack of a real relationship.
On the surface, many marriages seem to break up because of a "third party". This is, however, a psychological illusion. The other woman or the other man merely serves as a pretext for dissolving or a marriage that had already lost its essential integrity.
Nothing is more futile and more self-defeating than the bitterness of spurned love, the vengeful feeling that someone else has "come between" oneself and a beloved. This is always a distortion of reality, for people are not the captives or victims of others---they are free agents, working out their own destinies for good or for ill.
But the rejected lover or mate cannot afford to believe that his beloved has freely turned away from him--- and so he ascribes sinister or magical properties to the interloper. He calls him a hypnotist or a thief or a home-breaker. In the vast majority of cases, however, when a home is broken, the breaking has begun long before any "third party" has appeared on the scene.
相关单词：apparently
apparently解释：adv.显然地；表面上，似乎
apparently例句：
An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
相关单词：bruised
bruised解释：[医]青肿的，瘀紫的
bruised例句：
his bruised and bloodied nose 他沾满血的青肿的鼻子
She had slipped and badly bruised her face. 她滑了一跤，摔得鼻青脸肿。
相关单词：enacted
enacted解释：制定（法律），通过（法案）( enact的过去式和过去分词 )
enacted例句：
legislation enacted by parliament 由议会通过的法律
Outside in the little lobby another scene was begin enacted. 外面的小休息室里又是另一番景象。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
相关单词：alienation
alienation解释：n.疏远；离间；异化
alienation例句：
The new policy resulted in the alienation of many voters.新政策导致许多选民疏远了。
As almost every conceivable contact between human beings gets automated,the alienation index goes up.随着人与人之间几乎一切能想到的接触方式的自动化，感情疏远指数在不断上升。
相关单词：entrusted
entrusted解释：v.委托，托付( entrust的过去式和过去分词 )
entrusted例句：
He entrusted the task to his nephew. 他把这任务托付给了他的侄儿。
She was entrusted with the direction of the project. 她受委托负责这项计划。 来自《简明英汉词典》
相关单词：pretext
pretext解释：n.借口，托词
pretext例句：
He used his headache as a pretext for not going to school.他借口头疼而不去上学。
He didn't attend that meeting under the pretext of sickness.他以生病为借口，没参加那个会议。
相关单词：futile
futile解释：adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的
futile例句：
They were killed,to the last man,in a futile attack.因为进攻失败，他们全部被杀，无一幸免。
Their efforts to revive him were futile.他们对他抢救无效。
相关单词：spurned
spurned解释：v.一脚踢开，拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 )
spurned例句：
Eve spurned Mark's invitation. 伊夫一口回绝了马克的邀请。
With Mrs. Reed, I remember my best was always spurned with scorn. 对里德太太呢，我记得我的最大努力总是遭到唾弃。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：sinister
sinister解释：adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的
sinister例句：
There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值，而且包藏祸心。
