Why is it, even though you're in a relationship - maybe even in love - you still feel so unhappy and unsatisfied with your partner? Is this what sharing your life with someone is supposed to be like?
为什么即使处在一段充满爱的关系里，你仍然会对伴侣感到不满意？难道跟恋人分享自己的生活本是这般模样？也许你原本关于爱情的一切认知都是错误的。
Maybe everything you thought you knew
1. The Criticizing
Criticism can be helpful when a partner points out a problem the other person in the relationship doesn't notice. It's how healthy relationships work. But once a problem ends so should the critique. With a criticizer in a toxic relationship everything the other person does is a target that can be attacked, and often in front of other people. This goes beyond playful banter（戏谑，开玩笑）: this criticism is overly harsh and causes real harm. Behind a chronic criticizer is a person whose low self-esteem leads them to find faults in their partner because of their own insecurities. Criticizers need to fix themselves first, or else they may not have partners to criticize for long.
2. The Controlling
Power dynamics in relationships can be tricky. Sometimes one partner clearly runs the show. That can be okay, if the other person doesn't want any control, but other people may feel like they have no say over their lives. Controlling partners limit their loved ones' choices and never let them have any independence. Even if their controlling partners make them go out and party, the other person in the relationship feels locked away from the world, like prisoners, because doing that was not their choice. Someone has to let go, or else you'll both be searching for more leverage（手段，影响力） somewhere else.
3. The Withholding
Keeping things to yourself is one thing, but withholding（克制，阻挡） is something else. Withholding is when one or both of the people in the relationship refuse to share how they really feel to keep the other person from harm. That may seem nice, but it's actually toxic because if something is wrong, the other person has no idea
4. The Lying
You're not going to find a much worse sign that you're in a toxic relationship than if your partner is overtly（明显地） lying to you. Some liars are so good at what they do that it almost seems as if they believe the lies that they tell instead of the truth, and blame you for not believing them. This is probably the most toxic trait on this list. If you're the one who thinks you need to hide everything from your partner, consider the harm you are doing both to that person and to yourself: eventually your lies are going to get you dumped.
相关单词：toxic
toxic解释：adj.有毒的，因中毒引起的
toxic例句：
The factory had accidentally released a quantity of toxic waste into the sea.这家工厂意外泄漏大量有毒废物到海中。
There is a risk that toxic chemicals might be blasted into the atmosphere.爆炸后有毒化学物质可能会进入大气层。
相关单词：chronic
chronic解释：adj.(疾病)长期未愈的，慢性的；极坏的
chronic例句：
Famine differs from chronic malnutrition.饥荒不同于慢性营养不良。
Chronic poisoning may lead to death from inanition.慢性中毒也可能由虚弱导致死亡。
相关单词：dynamics
dynamics解释：n.力学，动力学，动力，原动力；动态
dynamics例句：
In order to succeed,you must master complicated knowledge of dynamics.要取得胜利，你必须掌握很复杂的动力学知识。
Dynamics is a discipline that cannot be mastered without extensive practice.动力学是一门不做大量习题就不能掌握的学科。
相关单词：tricky
tricky解释：adj.狡猾的，奸诈的；(工作等)棘手的，微妙的
tricky例句：
I'm in a rather tricky position.Can you help me out?我的处境很棘手，你能帮我吗？
He avoided this tricky question and talked in generalities.他回避了这个非常微妙的问题，只做了个笼统的表述。
相关单词：leverage
leverage解释：n.力量，影响；杠杆作用，杠杆的力量
leverage例句：
We'll have to use leverage to move this huge rock.我们不得不借助杠杆之力来移动这块巨石。
He failed in the project because he could gain no leverage. 因为他没有影响力，他的计划失败了。
相关单词：withholding
withholding解释：扣缴税款
withholding例句：
She was accused of withholding information from the police. 她被指控对警方知情不报。
The judge suspected the witness was withholding information. 法官怀疑见证人在隐瞒情况。
相关单词：overtly
overtly解释：ad.公开地
overtly例句：
There were some overtly erotic scenes in the film. 影片中有一些公开色情场面。
Nietzsche rejected God's law and wrote some overtly blasphemous things. 尼采拒绝上帝的律法，并且写了一些渎神的作品。
相关单词：liars
liars解释：说谎者( liar的名词复数 )
liars例句：
The greatest liars talk most of themselves. 最爱自吹自擂的人是最大的说谎者。
Honest boys despise lies and liars. 诚实的孩子鄙视谎言和说谎者。
