IN THE DOORWAY of my home, I looked closely at the face of my 23-year-old son, Daniel, his backpack by his side. We were saying good-bye. In a few hours he would be flying to France. He would be staying there for at least a year to learn another language and experience life in a different country.
It was a transitional time in Daniel's life, a passage, a step from college into the adult world. I wanted to leave him with words that would have some meaning, some significance beyond the moment.
But nothing came from my lips. No sound broke the stillness of my beachside home on Long Island. Outside, I could hear the shrill cries of sea gulls as they circled the ever-changing surf. Inside, I stood frozen and quiet, looking into the searching eyes of my son.
What made it more difficult was that I knew this was not the first time I had let such a moment pass. When Daniel was five, I took him to the school-bus stop on his first day of kindergarten. I felt the tension in his hand holding mine as the bus turned the corner. I saw color flush his cheeks as the bus pulled up. His questioning eyes looked up at mine.
What is it going to be like, Dad? Can I do it? Will I be okay? And then he walked up the steps of the bus and disappeared inside. And the bus drove away. And I had said nothing.
A decade or so later, a similar scene played itself out. With his mother, I drove him to the College of William and Mary in Virginia. His first night, he went out with his new schoolmates. When he met us the next morning, he was sick. He was coming down with mononucleosis, but we could not know that then. We thought he had a hangover.
In his room, Dan lay stretched out on his bed as I started to leave for the trip home. I tried to think of something to say to give him some courage and confidence as he started this new phase of life.
Again, words failed me. I mumbled something like, "Hope you feel better, Dan." And I left.
Now, as I stood before him, I thought of those lost opportunities. How many times have we all let such moments pass?
A parent dies, and, instead of giving a eulogy ourselves, we let a clergyman speak. A child asks if Santa Claus is real, or where babies come from, and, embarrassed, we slough it off. When a daughter graduates or a son is married, we watch them go through the motions of the ceremony. But we don't seek out our children and find a quiet moment to tell them what they have meant to us. Or what they might expect to face in the years ahead.
How fast the years had passed. Daniel was born in New Orleans, slow to walk and talk, and small of stature. He was the tiniest in his class, but he developed a warm, outgoing nature and was popular with his peers. He was coordinated and agile, and he became adept in sports.
Baseball gave him his earliest challenge. He was an outstanding pitcher in Little League, expecting to make it big in high school. It didn't happen that way. He failed to move up from the junior varsity team. But he stuck it out. Eventually, as a senior, he moved up to the varsity. He won half the team's games. At graduation, the coach named Daniel the team's most valuable player.
His finest hour, though, came at a school science fair. He entered an exhibit showing how the circulatory system works. He sketched it on cardboard. It was primitive and crude, especially compared to the fancy, computerized, b
It turned out that the other kids had not done their own work--their parents had made their exhibits. As the judges went on their rounds, they found that these other kids couldn't answer their questions. Daniel answered every one. When the judges awarded the Albert Einstein Plaque for the best exhibit, they gave it to him.
By the time Daniel left for college he stood six feet tall and weighed 170 pounds. He was muscular and in superb condition. But he never pitched another inning. He found that he could not combine athletics with academics. He gave up baseball for English literature. I was sorry that he would not develop his athletic talent, but proud that he had made such a mature decision. He graduated with a "B" average.
One day, I told Daniel that the great failing in my life had been that I didn't take a year or two off to travel when I finished college.
This is the best way, to my way of thinking, to broaden oneself and develop a larger perspective on life. Once I had married and begun working, I found that the dream of living in another culture had vanished.
Daniel thought
The night before he was to leave, I tossed in bed. I was trying to figure out something to say. Nothing came to mind. Maybe, I thought, it wasn't necessary to say anything.
What does it matter in the course of a lifetime if a father never tells a son what he really thinks of him? But as I stood before Daniel, I knew that it does matter. My father and I loved each other. Yet, I always regretted never hearing him put his feelings into words and never having the memory of that moment.
Now, I could feel my palms sweat and my throat tighten. Why is it so hard to tell a son something from the heart? My mouth turned dry. I knew I would be able to get out only a few words clearly.
"Daniel," I said, "if I could have picked, I would have picked you."
That's all I could say. I wasn't sure he understood what I meant. Then he came toward me and threw his arms around me. For a moment, the world and all its people vanished, and there was just Daniel and me.
He was saying something, but my eyes misted over, and I couldn't understand what he was saying. All I was aware of was the stubble on his chin as his face pressed against mine. And then, the moment ended, and Daniel left for France.
I think
What I said to Daniel was clumsy and trite. It was nothing. And yet, it was everything.
相关单词：doorway
doorway解释：n.门口，(喻)入门；门路，途径
doorway例句：
They huddled in the shop doorway to shelter from the rain.他们挤在商店门口躲雨。
Mary suddenly appeared in the doorway.玛丽突然出现在门口。
相关单词：shrill
shrill解释：adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫
shrill例句：
Whistles began to shrill outside the barn.哨声开始在谷仓外面尖叫。
The shrill ringing of a bell broke up the card game on the cutter.刺耳的铃声打散了小汽艇的牌局。
相关单词：gulls
gulls解释：n.鸥( gull的名词复数 )v.欺骗某人( gull的第三人称单数 )
gulls例句：
A flock of sea gulls are hovering over the deck. 一群海鸥在甲板上空飞翔。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
The gulls which haunted the outlying rocks in a prodigious number. 数不清的海鸥在遥远的岩石上栖息。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：mumbled
mumbled解释：含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 )
mumbled例句：
He mumbled something to me which I did not quite catch. 他对我叽咕了几句话，可我没太听清楚。
George mumbled incoherently to himself. 乔治语无伦次地喃喃自语。
相关单词：eulogy
eulogy解释：n.颂词；颂扬
eulogy例句：
He needs no eulogy from me or from any other man. 他不需要我或者任何一个人来称颂。
Mr.Garth gave a long eulogy
相关单词：slough
slough解释：v.蜕皮，脱落，抛弃
slough例句：
He was not able to slough off the memories of the past.他无法忘记过去。
A cicada throws its slough.蝉是要蜕皮的。
相关单词：stature
stature解释：n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材
stature例句：
He is five feet five inches in stature.他身高5英尺5英寸。
The dress models are tall of stature.时装模特儿的身材都较高。
相关单词：coordinated
coordinated解释：adj.协调的
coordinated例句：
The sound has to be coordinated with the picture. 声音必须和画面协调一致。
The numerous existing statutes are complicated and poorly coordinated. 目前繁多的法令既十分复杂又缺乏快调。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
相关单词：agile
agile解释：adj.敏捷的，灵活的
agile例句：
She is such an agile dancer!她跳起舞来是那么灵巧！
An acrobat has to be agile.杂技演员必须身手敏捷。
相关单词：adept
adept解释：adj.老练的，精通的
adept例句：
When it comes to photography,I'm not an adept.要说照相，我不是内行。
He was highly adept at avoiding trouble.他十分善于避开麻烦。
相关单词：pitcher
pitcher解释：n.(有嘴和柄的)大水罐；(棒球)投手
pitcher例句：
He poured the milk out of the pitcher.他从大罐中倒出牛奶。
Any pitcher is liable to crack during a tight game.任何投手在紧张的比赛中都可能会失常。
相关单词：sketched
sketched解释：v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式）
sketched例句：
The historical article sketched the major events of the decade. 这篇有关历史的文章概述了这十年中的重大事件。 来自《简明英汉词典》
He sketched the situation in a few vivid words. 他用几句生动的语言简述了局势。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
相关单词：primitive
primitive解释：adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物
primitive例句：
It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。
相关单词：plaque
plaque解释：n.饰板，匾，(医)血小板
plaque例句：
There is a commemorative plaque to the artist in the village hall.村公所里有一块纪念该艺术家的牌匾。
Some Latin words were engraved on the plaque. 牌匾上刻着些拉丁文。
相关单词：athletic
athletic解释：adj.擅长运动的，强健的；活跃的，体格健壮的
athletic例句：
This area has been marked off for athletic practice.这块地方被划出来供体育训练之用。
He is an athletic star.他是一个运动明星。
相关单词：athletics
athletics解释：n.运动，体育，田径运动
athletics例句：
When I was at school I was always hopeless at athletics.我上学的时候体育十分糟糕。
Our team tied with theirs in athletics.在田径比赛中，我们队与他们队旗鼓相当。
相关单词：decided
decided解释：adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
decided例句：
This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
相关单词：tighten
tighten解释：v.(使)变紧；(使)绷紧
tighten例句：
Turn the screw to the right to tighten it.向右转动螺钉把它拧紧。
Some countries tighten monetary policy to avoid inflation.一些国家实行紧缩银根的货币政策，以避免通货膨胀。
相关单词：deserted
deserted解释：adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的
deserted例句：
The deserted village was filled with a deathly silence.这个荒废的村庄死一般的寂静。
The enemy chieftain was opposed and deserted by his followers.敌人头目众叛亲离。
相关单词：scurrying
scurrying解释：v.急匆匆地走( scurry的现在分词 )
scurrying例句：
We could hear the mice scurrying
We were scurrying
相关单词：trite
trite解释：adj.陈腐的
trite例句：
The movie is teeming with obvious and trite ideas.这部电影充斥着平铺直叙的陈腐观点。
Yesterday,in the restaurant,Lorraine had seemed trite,blurred,worn away.昨天在饭店里，洛兰显得庸俗、堕落、衰老了。
