One afternoon
Just like that. No preamble. No warning. Surprised, I mumbled something
I am scarcely the only man for whom this is true. We men have been conditioned to believe that stoicism is the embodiment of strength. We have traveled through life with stiff upper lips, secretly dying within.
For most of my adult life I have battled depression. Doctors have said much of my problem is physiological, and they have treated it with medication. But I know that my illness is also attributable to years of swallowing rage, sadness, even joy.
Strange as it seems, in this world where macho is everything, drunkenness and depression are safer ways for men to deal with feelings than tears. I could only hope the same debilitating handicap would not be passed to the next generation.
So the following day when Patrick and I were in the van after playing at a park, I thanked him for his curiosity. Tears are a good thing, I told him, for boys and girls alike. Crying is God"s way of healing people when they"re sad. "I"m glad you can cry whenever you"re sad," I said. "Sometimes daddies have a harder time showing how they feel. Someday I hope to do better."
Patrick nodded. In truth, I held out little hope. But in the days before Christmas I prayed that somehow I could connect with the dusty core of my own emotions.
"I was wondering if Patrick would sing a verse of "Away in a Manger" during the service on Christmas Eve," the church youth director asked in a message left on our answering machine.
My wife, Catherine, and I struggled to contain our excitement. Our son"s first solo.
Catherine delicately broached the possibility, reminding Patrick how beautifully he sang, telling him how much fun it would be. Patrick himself seemed less convinced and frowned. "You know, Mom," he said, "sometimes when I have to do something
Grownups feel that way too, he was assured, but the decision was left to him. His deliberations took only a few minutes.
"Okay," Patrick said. "I"ll do it."
From the time he was an infant, Patrick has enjoyed an unusual passion for music. By age four he could pound out several bars of Wagner"s Ride of the Valkyries on the piano.
For the next week Patrick practiced his stanza several times with his mother. A rehearsal at the church went well. Still, I could only envision myself at age five, singing into a microphone before hundreds of people. When Christmas Eve arrived, my expectations were limited.
Catherine, our daughter Melanie and I sat with the congregation in darkness as a spotlight found my son, standing alone at the microphone. He was dressed in white, with a pair of angel wings.
Slowly, confidently, Patrick hit every note. As his voice washed over the people, he seemed a true angel, a true bestower of Christmas miracles.
There was eternity in Patrick"s voice that night, a beauty rich enough to penetrate any reserve. At the sound of my son, heavy tears welled at the corners of my eyes.
His song was soon over, and the congregation applauded. Catherine brushed away tears. Melanie sobbed next to me.
After the service, I moved to congratulate Patrick, but he had more urgent priorities. "Mom," he said as his costume was stripped away, "I have to go to the bathroom."
As Patrick disappeared, the pastor wished me a Merry Christmas, but emotion choked off my reply. Outside the sanctuary I received congratulations from fellow church members.
I found my son as he emerged from the bathroom. "Patrick, I need to talk to you
He looked at my moist eyes quizzically.#p#分页标题#e#
"Patrick, do you remember when you asked me why you had never seen me cry?"
He nodded.
"Well, I"m crying now."
"Why, Dad?"
"Your singing was so wonderful it made me cry."
Patrick smiled proudly and flew into my arms.
"Sometimes," my son said into my shoulder, "life is so beautiful you have to cry."
Our moment together was over too soon. Untold treasures awaited our five-year-old beneath the tree at home, but I wasn"t ready for the traditional plunge into Christmas just yet. I handed Catherine the keys and set off for the mile-long hike home.
The night was cold and crisp. I crossed a park and admired the full moon hanging low over a neighborhood brightly lit in the colors of the season. As I turned toward home, I met a car moving slowly down the street, a family taking in the area"s Christmas lights. Someone rolled down a window.
"Merry Christmas," a child"s voice yelled out to me.
"Merry Christmas," I yelled back. And the tears began to flow all over again.
相关单词：preamble
preamble解释：n.前言；序文
preamble例句：
He spoke without preamble.他没有开场白地讲起来。
The controversy has arisen over the text of the preamble to the unification treaty.针对统一条约的序文出现了争论。
相关单词：mumbled
mumbled解释：含糊地说某事，叽咕，咕哝( mumble的过去式和过去分词 )
mumbled例句：
He mumbled something to me which I did not quite catch. 他对我叽咕了几句话，可我没太听清楚。
George mumbled incoherently to himself. 乔治语无伦次地喃喃自语。
相关单词：physiological
physiological解释：adj.生理学的，生理学上的
physiological例句：
He bought a physiological book.他买了一本生理学方面的书。
Every individual has a physiological requirement for each nutrient.每个人对每种营养成分都有一种生理上的需要。
相关单词：debilitating
debilitating解释：a.使衰弱的
debilitating例句：
The debilitating disease made him too weak to work. 这个令他衰弱的病，使他弱到没有办法工作。
You may soon leave one debilitating condition or relationship forever. 你即将永远地和这段霉运说拜拜了。
相关单词：broached
broached解释：v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 )；打开并开始用；用凿子扩大（或修光）；（在桶上）钻孔取液体
broached例句：
She broached the subject of a picnic to her mother. 她向母亲提起野餐的问题。 来自辞典例句
He broached the subject to the stranger. 他对陌生人提起那话题。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：stanza
stanza解释：n.（诗）节，段
stanza例句：
We omitted to sing the second stanza.我们漏唱了第二节。
One young reporter wrote a review with a stanza that contained some offensive content.一个年轻的记者就歌词中包含有攻击性内容的一节写了评论。
相关单词：rehearsal
rehearsal解释：n.排练，排演；练习
rehearsal例句：
I want to play you a recording of the rehearsal.我想给你放一下彩排的录像。
You can sharpen your skills with rehearsal.排练可以让技巧更加纯熟。
相关单词：spotlight
spotlight解释：n.公众注意的中心，聚光灯，探照灯，视听，注意，醒目
spotlight例句：
This week the spotlight is on the world of fashion.本周引人瞩目的是时装界。
The spotlight followed her round the stage.聚光灯的光圈随着她在舞台上转。
相关单词：standing
standing解释：n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的
standing例句：
After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
相关单词：eternity
eternity解释：n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷
eternity例句：
The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。
相关单词：penetrate
penetrate解释：v.透(渗)入；刺入，刺穿；洞察，了解
penetrate例句：
Western ideas penetrate slowly through the East.西方观念逐渐传入东方。
The sunshine could not penetrate where the trees were thickest.阳光不能透入树木最浓密的地方。
相关单词：sobbed
sobbed解释：哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说
sobbed例句：
She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。
相关单词：pastor
pastor解释：n.牧师，牧人
pastor例句：
He was the son of a poor pastor.他是一个穷牧师的儿子。
We have no pastor at present:the church is run by five deacons.我们目前没有牧师：教会的事是由五位执事管理的。
相关单词：sanctuary
sanctuary解释：n.圣所，圣堂，寺庙；禁猎区，保护区
sanctuary例句：
There was a sanctuary of political refugees behind the hospital.医院后面有一个政治难民的避难所。
Most countries refuse to give sanctuary to people who hijack aeroplanes.大多数国家拒绝对劫机者提供庇护。
相关单词：freckles
freckles解释：n.雀斑，斑点( freckle的名词复数 )
freckles例句：
She had a wonderful clear skin with an attractive sprinkling of freckles. 她光滑的皮肤上有几处可爱的小雀斑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
When she lies in the sun, her face gets covered in freckles. 她躺在阳光下时，脸上布满了斑点。 来自《简明英汉词典》
相关单词：untold
untold解释：adj.数不清的，无数的
untold例句：
She has done untold damage to our chances.她给我们的机遇造成了不可估量的损害。
They suffered untold terrors in the dark and huddled together for comfort.他们遭受着黑暗中的难以言传的种种恐怖，因而只好挤在一堆互相壮胆。
相关单词：plunge
plunge解释：v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲
plunge例句：
Test pool's water temperature before you plunge in.在你跳入之前你应该测试水温。
That would plunge them in the broil of the two countries.那将会使他们陷入这两国的争斗之中。
