We are air, we are not earth...
-- M. Mamardashvili
I don't know what I should talk
We were newlyweds. We still walked around holding hands, even if we were just going to the store. I would say to him, "I love you." But I didn't know then how much. I had no idea... We lived in the dormitory of the fire station where he worked. On the second floor. There were three other young couples, we all shared a kitchen. On the first floor they kept the trucks. The red fire trucks. That was his job. I always knew what was happening—where he was, how he was.
One night I heard a noise. I looked out the window. He saw me. "Close the window and go back to sleep. There's a fire at the reactor. I'll be back soon."
I didn't see the explosion itself. Just the flames. Everything was radiant. The whole sky. A tall flame. And smoke. The heat was awful. And he's still not back.
The smoke was from the burning bitumen, which had covered the roof. He said later it was like walking on tar. They tried to beat down the flames. They kicked at the burning graphite with their feet...They weren't wearing their canvas gear. They went off just as they were, in their shirt sleeves. No one told them. They had been called for a fire, that was it.
Four o'clock. Five. Six. At six we were supposed to go to his parents' house. To plant potatoes. It's forty kilometers from Pripyat to Sperizhye, where his parents live. Sowing, plowing -- he loved to do that. His mother always told me how they didn't want him to move to the city, they'd even built a new house for him. He was drafted into the army. He served in the fire brigade in Moscow and when he came out, he wanted to be a fireman. And nothing else! [Silence.]
Sometimes it's as though I hear his voice. Alive. Even photographs don't have the same effect on me as that voice. But he never calls to me...not even in my dreams. I'm the one who calls to him.
Seven o'clock. At seven I was told he was in the hospital. I ran there, but the police had already encircled it, and they weren't letting anyone through. Only ambulances.
The policemen shouted: The ambulances are radioactive, stay away!
I wasn't the only one there, all the wives whose husbands were at the reactor that night had come.
I started looking for a friend, she was a doctor at that hospital. I grabbed her white coat when she came out of an ambulance. "Get me inside!"
"I can't. He's bad. They all are."
I held on to her. "Just to see him!"
"All right," she said. "Come with me. Just for fifteen or twenty minutes."
I saw him. He was all swollen and puffed up. You could barely see his eyes.
"He needs milk. Lots of milk," my friend said. "They should drink at least three liters each."
"But he doesn't like milk."
"He'll drink it now."
Many of the doctors and nurses in that hospital, and especially the orderlies, would get sick themselves and die. But we didn't know that then.
相关单词：solitary
solitary解释：adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士
solitary例句：
I am rather fond of a solitary stroll in the country.我颇喜欢在乡间独自徜徉。
The castle rises in solitary splendour on the fringe of the desert.这座城堡巍然耸立在沙漠的边际，显得十分壮美。
相关单词：tar
tar解释：n.柏油，焦油；vt.涂或浇柏油/焦油于
tar例句：
The roof was covered with tar.屋顶涂抹了一层沥青。
We use tar to make roads.我们用沥青铺路。
相关单词：reactor
reactor解释：n.反应器；反应堆
reactor例句：
The atomic reactor generates enormous amounts of thermal energy.原子反应堆发出大量的热能。
Inside the reactor the large molecules are cracked into smaller molecules.在反应堆里，大分子裂变为小分子。
相关单词：bitumen
bitumen解释：n.沥青
bitumen例句：
Bitumen paper can be burnt to gain energy.沥青纸可以焚烧以获得能量。
In fact,a speciality crude is suitable only for bitumen production.事实上，这种特性的原油只适宜于生产沥青。
相关单词：plowing
plowing解释：v.耕( plow的现在分词 )；犁耕；费力穿过
plowing例句：
"There are things more
Since his wife's death, he has been plowing a lonely furrow. 从他妻子死后，他一直过着孤独的生活。 来自辞典例句
相关单词：swollen
swollen解释：adj.肿大的，水涨的；v.使变大，肿胀
swollen例句：
Her legs had got swollen from standing up all day.因为整天站着，她的双腿已经肿了。
A mosquito had bitten her and her arm had swollen up.蚊子叮了她，她的手臂肿起来了。
相关单词：puffed
puffed解释：adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧
puffed例句：
He lit a cigarette and puffed at it furiously. 他点燃了一支香烟，狂吸了几口。 来自《简明英汉词典》
He felt grown-up, puffed up with self-
