Loneliness is a feeling I know very well. I live in an apartment with no one but my dog, and I don’t get a whole lot of company because most of my friends have moved to another town, got married and had a family, or simply lost touch due to life happening. As someone who considers himself a loner, I loved the peace and quiet at first, but I found myself feeling very lonely within a few months.
我对孤独有着切身体会:一人一室一狗,少有陪伴。许多朋友都搬到了其他城市,结婚生子过日子,有些也因生活变迁而失去了联系。我自认为是个独行侠,刚开始也很享受平和与安静;可接下来几个月,我发现自己常常感到孤独。
My space went from clean to chaos, my productivity crashed and burned, my thoughts took a turn for the worse, and I couldn’t find much interest in anything more than watching movies on Netflix. After living a few months in a haze of sloth, I realized I had a serious problem and decided to learn how to live a happy life alone. This article tackles six key things I learned along the way.
房间开始变得凌乱不堪、效率低下、情绪低落,除了在Netflix上看电影,我对任何事都提不起兴趣。过了几个月的混沌日子后,我感到自己很有问题,必须学会一个人也能过得开心才行。下面就是我领悟到的六个方法。
1. Take Care of Your Home
保持房间整洁
When you’re not around other people, it is easy to lose interest in tidying up your home. You might find yourself with a sky high pile of dishes and mountains of clutter everywhere you turn if you’re not careful. Even if you don’t have a roommate or company that frequently walks in your door, it is in your best interest to clean house at least once per week.
一个人生活时,很容易马虎应付房间整理。如果得过且过,家里很快就堆了成叠的盘子和杂物。哪怕很少有室友或朋友来串门,每周至少也得打扫一次房间。
If your home is a disorganized wreck, expect to feel stressed out as soon as you walk in the door. A clean home free from clutter will help you feel happy and organized.
要是家里乱七八糟,一进门肯定会感到头大。干净整洁的房间才会使你井然有序、心情愉悦。
2. Find Beauty in the Ordinary
从平凡中发现美好
If you don’t see beauty in your world, you’re not looking hard enough. If you’re home alone and feeling down, walk outside and spend some time with nature. Watch the birds fly and admire their elaborate flight formation. Listen to dogs barking at each other in the neighborhood and think to yourself, “I wonder what they could possibly be talking about?”
觉得自己的世界毫无美好可言?那你肯定没用心发掘。当你独自蜗居在家、感到心情抑郁时,何不出门多接触大自然?看小鸟掠过天空,感叹它们高超的飞翔技术;听邻里狗儿相互吠叫,猜测“这些家伙都在讨论啥?”
Look at that big, old tree that is the size of a giant (and if you’re feeling limber, why not try to climb it?). Plant some flowers, a vegetable garden, or a small tree in your back yard. Go to the park, walk on a nature trail, clear your thoughts, listen to the sounds of the forest, and be in awe of the beauty that’s right in front of you.
仰望那棵硕壮老树,想象它是一个巨人,要是身手灵活,还可以试试爬上去;在后园种点花草蔬菜或小树;去公园散散步,边聆听森林呼吸边整理思绪,为眼前美景而惊叹。
3. Watch Out for Noisy Thoughts
谨防胡思乱想
Your thoughts can be your best friend and worst enemy. Have you ever noticed that if you find yourself thinking even a single negative thought, it inevitably spirals out of control until you have a nasty chorus of Mental Monsters taking over your brain?
思想既是益友又是劲敌。你注意到没有:只要脑中闪过一丝消极念头,就会引起恶性循环,直到自己完全被心理恶魔打倒才罢休?
If you find yourself thinking, “I feel so lonely right now,” it’s easy to keep that thought process going in the wrong direction until thoughts like, “I will always be alone,” or “no one will ever love me,” creep up on you.
当你自认为“我此刻很孤独”时,消极想法便很容易蔓延,最后你甚至觉得“我永远都会这么孤单”或“永远也不会有人爱上我”。
Be aware of what you’re thinking about and stop your negative thoughts before they grow into Mental Monsters that are much harder to control. If you find yourself stressing out, do something that relaxes you. Light some candles or incense, take a nice hot bubble bath, perform some gentle yoga poses, or play soothing music.
因此,你必须留意自己的想法,谨防消极念头演变成无法控制的心理恶魔。紧张烦躁时,去做点能让自己放松的事情。点上蜡烛熏香,泡个热腾的泡泡澡,练练瑜伽,或奏一曲舒缓的音乐。
4. Reduce Mindless Consumption
减少漫无目的的损耗
Being aware of world events is totally okay, but becoming addicted to the news is a sure-fire way to sink your mood. Limit your news consumption to a small handful of articles per day because there is no reason to bury yourself in depressing news stories for hours on end.
了解世界新闻无可厚非,但完全沉浸其中无疑是自讨无趣。每天限制只读几篇新闻报道,毕竟,没必要把时间浪费在众多负面新闻中。
Watching television is fine in moderation, but spending all of your free hours in front of the tube will do nothing to help you grow or feel better. Read a classic novel you adored in high school, go to a local community theater to enjoy a racy comedy or Shakespearean tragedy, and exercise at least every other day to keep your mind and body at the top of their game.
适当看看电视也挺不错,但若把所有闲暇时间都耗在电视机面前,既不利于成长,也影响情绪。不如读一本高中就喜欢的经典小说,去社区剧院看一场欢乐喜剧或莎翁悲剧,隔天锻炼健身,让身心永远保持良好状态。
5. Create Something of Value
创造价值
The best way to feel happy alone is to spend your time creating something that brings you joy. You could write a novel or self-help book and self-publish it on Amazon, start a blog about a topic that fascinates you, go the the park and paint a landscape to hang on your wall, or learn a new language, like German or Spanish.
单身想要过得开心,最好的办法就是创造能给自己带来快乐的东西。你可以尝试写小说或自助读本,然后在亚马逊上出版;或针对喜欢的话题开一栏博客,去公园写生并把画作挂在墙上,学一门新语言(例如德语或西班牙语)。
Sometimes it is hard to motivate ourselves to get to work creating at home, so if you’re feeling a lack of inspiration, pack up your notebook and laptop for a field-trip to a park, coffee shop, or downtown bench. A simple change of scenery can do wonders for your productivity.
有时一个人在家往往缺乏主动创新的动力,所以,要是觉得没灵感,可以带上电脑和笔记本,去公园、咖啡馆或市内长椅坐坐。简单的环境改变也能大大提高效率。
6. Treat Yourself to a Hot Date
与自己约会
Who says you can’t go to a movie or eat out by yourself? I love treating myself to hot dates because I can choose to go wherever I desire without considering anyone else’s opinion. Going out by yourself will help you become comfortable with being alone.
谁说单身就不能看电影或吃大餐了?我就很喜欢和自己约会。因为我可以随心选择自己喜欢的地方,不必顾虑他人想法。一个人出行可以让你更自在地享受单身状态。
Have you ever felt so lonely that you didn’t know what to do with yourself?
有时候,你是不是觉得自己特孤单,真不知道该怎么办?
If so, what did you do about it? Having friends and family is great but we all need to learn how to live a happy life alone. Please share any tips you have for the single folks who are reading this!
这时你是怎么做的呢?身边有亲人朋友陪伴固然美好,但我们也应该学会一个人也能过得开心。如果你有什么建议给单身朋友,请分享吧!